Domino’s new “30 minutes” campaign centers on the notion that when you order from the red, white and blue guys, you get 30 minutes of your life back to do anything you’d like. You’re not cooking, so do what you want. The clear message is convenience. Obviously absent is any claim its pizza is any good.

Pizza Hut’s new Pizza Mia product is a $5 pizza. All the Red Roof guys are saying is this: People don’t really care what it tastes like, they just want it cheap.

You don’t have to know much about restaurant food cost to know that $5 will not buy a lot of quality ingredients.

I’m not buying either firm’s message. In 30 minutes, most people with average cooking skills can prepare a good meal that might even be healthful. And there’s too much good pizza in this town to settle for a $5 pie and feel satisfied about the experience. Double that amount and you can get a truly great pizza at a few spots in the Ville.

Perhaps I’m too easily irritated by either overly simplistic message: 1. “You can’t manage your schedule well, so we’ll handle it for you”; or 2. “You’re so cheap you’ll eat anything we serve you, without question.”

I’ll keep my money and spend my 30 minutes elsewhere.